So The kids & I are heading back home tomorrow... Which gets confusing when I tell people that now, because we have lived here, in Mexico, long enough to call this home.. Because most of our household furnishings are are here... Because we are all here together & because finally, we all have friends here..
So 'home' remains to be where we came from, where we left our wonderful support network of family and friends and all that has been familiar to the kids all their lives, and gives them the feeling of home..
The kids don't know it yet, but home is where you are, it is where you are living with your heart, where you invest yourself.. In a community or a friendship, in a city! As I look back at these 10 months that we have been here, I can see that we have made a new home for ourselves, here in Santa Fe, Mexico City
.
We, the kids and I are "invested" at school. Me, not as much as I was in Michigan, not as much as I would like, but as much as I can be for now, and a lot more than most parents. The staff knows me by sight & name, the principal makes time for me without an appointment. Yesterday, as we were leaving school, friends were crying, saying goodbye to Kirsti, even though she is just leaving for summer.. But she has invested herself, her heart, she has made great friends, she has made a new home here, and I am so proud of her for stepping out into the scary unknown of high school, and emerging stronger & more confident! This experience, has been difficult, leaving a great network of friends & cousins, but she is proving to herself that she is resilient.
When taking this assignment, we thought long and hard about the impact on Zach, the boy who does not like changes. We finally decided, that he had to learn to adapt, as life IS change, and the sooner the better, and if we were together as a family we could help see him through. My motto for Zach has been, "if Zach can do this, he can do ANYTHING!" Well a change is exactly what Zach got when we came.. A change to middle school, 3 different apartments in 3 months, different class schedules every week the first month at school because his grade had a major influx of new students & extra staff was suddenly needed. Of course there were the known changes, like language, food, culture.. And I have to say, Zach has amazed me. As the year has progressed, he seems to have gotten calmer, less anxious about, well, everything! Zach has made a really good friend, and that has been such a good experience for him! Zach actually cared enough to want a friend, to care what that friend liked, even though its very different from his own likes. Zach's Boy Scout troop has shown him parts of Mexico City he may not have otherwise seen, like the beautiful hikes or the poverty of the girl's home he helped to paint & repair. So Zach is invested in Mexico City, he is certainly a convert to traditional Mexican tacos, if nothing else!
Danielle has surprised us, having the most difficulty with the adjustment to her new "home." In retrospect, I see now that she has never really been faced with the challenge of change before. She is our child that has had the benefit of staying at the same school from grade K until NOW! So she has had the same kids and those same parents always in her life. So this has proven to be more difficult, moving away & accepting change & then making the situation a positive rewarding experience. Danielle has always been our most head-strong child, she will do things on her terms, so until she decided to make the best of her circumstances, life was a bit rough. To her defense, she was thrown head first into classes taught solely en español, half day, every day- which was overwhelming, and depressing really. Despite that, she did make friends, and one in particular, who lives so close to us, became a source of comfort and made everyday life tolerable for the girl who wants to know: what are we doing today? Who are we seeing? What's for dinner? She always wants a plan! So, finally, Danielle is invested in a life here too!
Patrick had a good friend here, before we moved here, and this year would not have been managed as well without the friendship of this family! Bhavani & Aravinda & the kids are our family in our home in Mexico City! We are sad to be leaving them for 2 months.. But that is nothing compared to the sadness we will feel when they leave us at the beginning of next year when they move back to Michigan. With their help, we have made friends with others, seen places, done things and gotten to the hospital as needed, LOL! We are invested in this wonderful friendship & grateful to know that when our time is done here,the Thota family will be in MI waiting for us!
So we are heading back to our Michigan home - leaving behind for the summer some things that have been our "norm"... Like crazy drivers that make horrible sweeping turns that cut you off or run red lights (confession, I have run a red light too!), all the bill boards that line the streets, even the plasma screens that are like watching TV while waiting at a red light (sometimes we do this in the mornings, lol). Don't think I will miss the daily rain shower of late.. The rainy season & the cold that comes with it will be in full force when we return in August. Parking underground has its advantages, you never have to worry about needing an umbrella, and jackets are less necessary.. But I will certainly not miss paying to park everywhere I go!! Or tipping the grocery bagger or the parking garage attendant! And bringing groceries into my house thru the service elevator in a grocery cart is both great, and a slight annoyance... So a change of scenery is good, I am sure it will make me see all the things I have come to love here. One thing I do know... I will miss Paty for sure & I know my house in Mich will not be as clean as my house here!! Paty is just amazing!
Saturday, June 14, 2014
Saturday, June 7, 2014
My Biggest Fear... Missing Children in Mexico
So much drama!! There always seems to be high drama around me.. My friend Kellie used to joke about it in Canton, all the crazy things that happen to me, our family, whatever.. Well it has been no different here in Mex City! My friend Aravinda can attest to that! 3 hospitalizations in 4 months here, I am far too familiar with the local hospital.. And a family that is leaving after being here 2 years has never been to the hospital! Last weekend I did EVERYTHING in my power to Not Go To The Hospital AGAIN! I took 1 single -low dose - antibiotic, and within 3 hrs I was having chest & back pains, vomiting, fever & chills & body pain everywhere! I avoiding the hospital by forcing fluids & taking anti-neausea & pain meds...WHEW!
Well all the dramas of hospital trips, broken knee caps, earthquakes & long, long waiting in traffic, sometimes lost, sometimes not... IS NOTHING compared to the stress & anguish I went through Thursday when I came home to an empty house.
I had to go to the store & knew the kids, Zach & Danielle, would get home before me so I left them a note & left the door unlocked, even though they had a key. So when I came home to an empty house, knowing they should have been home 30 mins before me, my heart skipped a beat. I had Pati call to the lobby guard who said the school bus was very late, and the kids just arrived 5 minutes ago & the service elevator (the one they need to use) was out of service, they were climbing the stairs. Whew!
So I went to the stairs to greet them, but they were not there. I went downstairs to look for them, Pati our maid was staying put incase they came home on their own... I looked in the lobby, the playground, the pool, gym.. Nothing! I enlisted the help of security & now 7 guards were combing the complex & 3 were ordered to climb the 17 flights of stairs in the 3 towers to look for them. I was about hyper-ventilating now.. I had a guard call the school because I could not manage to speak Spanish anymore, I was frantic! The school did not answer. I called a friend of Danielle's, no answer, so next I called her Dad.. He was out of the country but would call his daughter.. When he called back, he told me not to worry, my kids were at his house, down the street in a different complex... The kids are not allowed to leave the complex un-escorted, but at least they are safe! The friend calls me, and I ask her to send Danielle home, she tells me she is not there, was not there, has never been there - her dad had misunderstood, because I think I woke him in the night... Now I start crying hysterically!
I cannot reach Patrick, so I do the next best thing, I call our friends Aravinda & Bhavani at work & tell them! They, all 3, leave work, Patrick to come home, our friends to drive to school to confirm they were in fact on the bus! It has been more than an hour that they have been missing. My mind races... There were several workers in the garage -rewiring something, they were new/not usual people in the tower... There were several people working on the service elevator, again, not the usual people in the tower... If the kids had gone to the garage, to check for my car, could someone grab them unseen?? If the kids went to the stairs, they had to pass all the workers by the elevators, could someone grab them unseen?? I cannot keep my self together, each time I try to regain composure, a new scenario plays in my head...
I concoct a new idea, maybe the kids walked .5 mile down the street to the OXXO (like 7/eleven), and then were hanging at the dog park?? So I am going to drive there & decide to stop to tell the lobby guard first... He says that Danielle is in the stairwell right now...
So I race there, and find her, and she is fine! She is with a security guard who found her. She had been playing in the private garden of a resident, with her son who is 3 yrs old!! (Zach was still there). In the 1.5 hrs the kids were gone they did not worry about coming home to check if I had returned, because the mom of the lil boy had sent me an email, so they were waiting for me to get them! I was looking everywhere for them, except in my INBOX!
So, my crying is still hysterical, but now for joy! Danielle was totally confused as to my reaction of course, she never considered what I might worry about! They had climbed the stairs, but the door from the stairwell to our service hallway was locked. For security reasons, I find out now, it opens one way, so we can escape in case of fire or earthquake.. Otherwise it is locked so no one else can enter our service hall unauthorized. So the kids could not get to our service hall, to get to our apt door, ugg! So they decided to kill some time by visiting the little boy 2 towers over, that they had seen at a pic nic the week before. That mom tried to call my house but the house phone does not accept cell calls (dumb LL set it up, we need to change that now that we know that).
So all is well - Thank you God!
We need to do a few things. Get new keys for the front elevator for the kids.. Get the phone plan changed... Show the kids where the Administration offices are, so if they need, the head of security can unlock the door in the stairwell that leads to our service hallway... And finally, I think it will be quite a while before I let the kids come home to an empty house again!!
BTW- where was Kirsti during all this?? She was at a friend's house, helping him with homework. That girl is fortunate to have many friends!!
Friday I spent making LOTS of muffins for all the security guards, who very kindly checked in on me, to make sure I had recovered from my traumatic event the night before...or maybe they smelled all my baking, LOL?? Either way, I am happy to know we have great security guards that do their jobs well, and if I wasn't sure that every one of them knew us, well I am sure they do now! And that's a good thing!!
Well all the dramas of hospital trips, broken knee caps, earthquakes & long, long waiting in traffic, sometimes lost, sometimes not... IS NOTHING compared to the stress & anguish I went through Thursday when I came home to an empty house.
I had to go to the store & knew the kids, Zach & Danielle, would get home before me so I left them a note & left the door unlocked, even though they had a key. So when I came home to an empty house, knowing they should have been home 30 mins before me, my heart skipped a beat. I had Pati call to the lobby guard who said the school bus was very late, and the kids just arrived 5 minutes ago & the service elevator (the one they need to use) was out of service, they were climbing the stairs. Whew!
So I went to the stairs to greet them, but they were not there. I went downstairs to look for them, Pati our maid was staying put incase they came home on their own... I looked in the lobby, the playground, the pool, gym.. Nothing! I enlisted the help of security & now 7 guards were combing the complex & 3 were ordered to climb the 17 flights of stairs in the 3 towers to look for them. I was about hyper-ventilating now.. I had a guard call the school because I could not manage to speak Spanish anymore, I was frantic! The school did not answer. I called a friend of Danielle's, no answer, so next I called her Dad.. He was out of the country but would call his daughter.. When he called back, he told me not to worry, my kids were at his house, down the street in a different complex... The kids are not allowed to leave the complex un-escorted, but at least they are safe! The friend calls me, and I ask her to send Danielle home, she tells me she is not there, was not there, has never been there - her dad had misunderstood, because I think I woke him in the night... Now I start crying hysterically!
I cannot reach Patrick, so I do the next best thing, I call our friends Aravinda & Bhavani at work & tell them! They, all 3, leave work, Patrick to come home, our friends to drive to school to confirm they were in fact on the bus! It has been more than an hour that they have been missing. My mind races... There were several workers in the garage -rewiring something, they were new/not usual people in the tower... There were several people working on the service elevator, again, not the usual people in the tower... If the kids had gone to the garage, to check for my car, could someone grab them unseen?? If the kids went to the stairs, they had to pass all the workers by the elevators, could someone grab them unseen?? I cannot keep my self together, each time I try to regain composure, a new scenario plays in my head...
I concoct a new idea, maybe the kids walked .5 mile down the street to the OXXO (like 7/eleven), and then were hanging at the dog park?? So I am going to drive there & decide to stop to tell the lobby guard first... He says that Danielle is in the stairwell right now...
So I race there, and find her, and she is fine! She is with a security guard who found her. She had been playing in the private garden of a resident, with her son who is 3 yrs old!! (Zach was still there). In the 1.5 hrs the kids were gone they did not worry about coming home to check if I had returned, because the mom of the lil boy had sent me an email, so they were waiting for me to get them! I was looking everywhere for them, except in my INBOX!
So, my crying is still hysterical, but now for joy! Danielle was totally confused as to my reaction of course, she never considered what I might worry about! They had climbed the stairs, but the door from the stairwell to our service hallway was locked. For security reasons, I find out now, it opens one way, so we can escape in case of fire or earthquake.. Otherwise it is locked so no one else can enter our service hall unauthorized. So the kids could not get to our service hall, to get to our apt door, ugg! So they decided to kill some time by visiting the little boy 2 towers over, that they had seen at a pic nic the week before. That mom tried to call my house but the house phone does not accept cell calls (dumb LL set it up, we need to change that now that we know that).
So all is well - Thank you God!
We need to do a few things. Get new keys for the front elevator for the kids.. Get the phone plan changed... Show the kids where the Administration offices are, so if they need, the head of security can unlock the door in the stairwell that leads to our service hallway... And finally, I think it will be quite a while before I let the kids come home to an empty house again!!
BTW- where was Kirsti during all this?? She was at a friend's house, helping him with homework. That girl is fortunate to have many friends!!
Friday I spent making LOTS of muffins for all the security guards, who very kindly checked in on me, to make sure I had recovered from my traumatic event the night before...or maybe they smelled all my baking, LOL?? Either way, I am happy to know we have great security guards that do their jobs well, and if I wasn't sure that every one of them knew us, well I am sure they do now! And that's a good thing!!
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